ANSWER THIS QUESTION: WHAT BRINGS YOU JOY?
I’m Robin and I help depleted givers discover joy. You’ll hear my story later, but… could this be yours?
You are a GIVER: Busy, involved, committed. Your life feels complete. You have important people and situations to pour your heart into. But you have been giving so much to so many, you are depleted. You want to feel joy and excitement, but you are overscheduled. Joy isn’t even on your list. Answering the question of “what brings me joy” stumps you at first. You’re not sure if it’s ok to ask for more. Your life is full and should feel very rewarding. You worry that if you want to seek joy for yourself, you will appear selfish or ungrateful.
You admit you can’t stay depleted forever. You want to have a full bucket so you have something to share. This is what really matters to you. You could be more helpful to others if you had more within.
And, if you are honest, you want to have a full bucket for you. You want to have energy, zest, spontaneous adventures and fun. You want to feel great about your life, the whole thing, even the self-care part… the part that always comes last, if it comes at all.
Spare time is nonexistent, and you don’t believe you should slow down to focus on yourself. You don’t want to give anything up, but you recognize that if you had the time, things would be different. You would add in some of the things that used to make your heart sing, things that used to make you feel most alive.
Life is full, life is busy, yet your deepest fear is that this is all there is.
I’VE BEEN THERE AND IT ISN'T FUN
I was last on my own lists. Who am I kidding, my name never even made it onto the page. I love being a giver. The world is hurting and I can do something about it. All of my endeavors have involved giving: Contributing to a marriage, being actively involved in the lives of our two children, running a nutrition counseling practice for those with eating disorders, building a youth ministry program, providing life enrichment for senior citizens in care homes.
To me, giving is as natural as breathing.
But giving to myself… that’s another story.
I rarely factored myself into any of the above. I did not want to address my own needs. I didn’t think there was time. And I believed it was selfish. My thought was, “I am selfless, I am here for others!” I ignored multiple warnings from loved ones. You know, “You have to take care of yourself if you want to be able to take care of anyone else.” I thought they were wrong, that I am not like other people. I am a giver.
Then it happened… I ran myself into the ground. It all came to a screeching halt. I crashed and burned.
I became apathetic – me! – I didn’t care.
I did NOT care.
You know those stories of people who survived their own deaths? I could relate. I felt like I had flatlined. Let me say, it was scary, uncharted territory, and I did not like being there. My bucket was empty and I could no longer give.
I did not know that seeking joy for myself could have prevented this. I had been a happy person, living the life I wanted. But happiness and joy are different. I had neglected my own personal joy for so long– never addressing what brings ME joy. It was all about bringing OTHERS joy - and I had mountains of inner work to do as a result.
I got professional help. It took so much time out of my schedule. I missed 6 weeks of work. I could not face the fact that I didn’t care about work, so I didn’t go in. I didn’t get paid. I felt like such a failure. I learned that I had become depressed because I had not been meeting my own basic needs. For the first time, I thought, “What in the heck do I NEED?”
I realized that one of my greatest sources of joy was self-care and I was no longer going to ignore my needs.
BEAUTY FROM THE ASHES
I now try to prioritize my needs because of the joy it gives me. It feels great! I still love reaching out to others, I just remember to reach out to myself.
When my personal joy bucket is full, I have so much to give. THE TRUTH IS, WHEN I AM JOYFUL, I HAVE EVEN MORE TO GIVE THAN I EVER HAD BEFORE! I would love to help you add joy to your life before it’s too late, before you have nothing to give. Let’s figure out what brings YOU joy. Let’s fill YOUR joy bucket together and watch it overflow!
Here is the beautiful thing that must not be overlooked: Seeking joy is not selfish! It’s the exact opposite, because joy is contagious! It’s impossible to fill your joy bucket without it spilling over. Simply put, joy coaching is like a “buy one, get a load free” investment.
JOY COACHING IS A THING BECAUSE I SAID SO
I had never heard of a joy coach, but that didn’t matter. I knew that I could help depleted givers add joy to their lives, so I took a leap of faith and got the training and certification I needed. My clients have LOVED adding joy to their lives! Every one of them has had a different answer to the “what brings you joy” question. Some find it in adventure, some find it in stronger relationships, others find it in improving their health, adopting quiet time, strengthening their faith, or finding a career they love.
JOY WITH YOUR CHILDREN: A working mom wanted a closer relationship with her son. Through joy coaching, she learned that she really didn’t know his interests, so she asked him questions to feel better connected. They discovered they both enjoy some of the same music and began attending concerts together. They now share songs and discuss the impact of the music on their lives. She is overjoyed at knowing her son on a deeper level!
JOY WITH YOUR SWEETHEART: An author was having trouble with his marriage. He and his wife were living on separate continents and she wouldn’t open his messages or take his calls. Through joy coaching, he realized knowing God brings him joy. As he spent more time deepening his relationship with God, it changed his thinking. He viewed his marriage differently. He wrote his wife a 10-page love letter from his new-found perspective and she opened it. They are now eagerly waiting to be reunited.
JOY AT ANY SIZE: A budding entrepreneur wanted to have confidence in her body and start dating. Joy coaching helped her discover that dancing makes her feel alive. She began to incorporate dance breaks as rewards into her workday. She loved the feel of the dance breaks and extended them. Without even trying, she began to love her body. She has since begun meeting new people.
WHAT ABOUT YOU?
What’s your story?
You must be a giver or you wouldn’t have made it to the end.
Be honest, are you feeling depleted? Did you know that adding joy on a personal level can keep your bucket from running empty and add richness that can be shared?
And, the big question: What brings you joy? I can help you answer the big question, and I can help you obtain whatever it is that brings you joy. My hope is that joy coaching can help you do what you love most: Give fully to the people and causes you care about, by also giving to yourself.
Not sure what joy coaching is, if it's a fit for you, or what package to choose? Or would you like me to come to your group's location and give a joy-boosting live presentation? Book a Breakthrough Session and get your questions answered! This is a no-pressure, fun online chat with me.
Book a free Breakthrough Session here: https://joytotheworldcoaching-scheduling.as.me/freebreakthroughsession
Learn more about my outlook on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joytotheworldcoachingwithrobinshear/
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Robin owns Joy To The World Coaching, through which she provides joy coaching to individuals online and joy-boosting presentations to groups in person. She is a Whole Person Certified Coach and a member of the International Coaching Federation. As a life coach with a specialty in joy, she works with givers who are depleted and want to rediscover joy for themselves. Robin aids her clients in thinking optimistically, helps them define & incorporate joy into all aspects of their lives, and encourages them to share their joy with the world. Robin has served in various roles, including registered dietitian, youth pastor, and life enrichment team member at senior living communities. She is a member of the American Business Women’s Association, Zonta International, and the Small Business Association.
Robin’s greatest sources of joy include sharing experiences with her family, developing her faith and learning about other faith traditions, and helping others live fully. She loves distance biking, live music, test driving fast cars, skydiving, and being spontaneous. She lives in the United States with her husband of 25 years, 2 young adult children seeking their own joys in life, and their massive 16-year-old cat.